I’ve been doing the She Reads Truth Lent Study- and y’all, if you are ever looking for women’s Bible studies that will challenge you, check them out. But anyway, I’ve been doing this study and every day has been almost exactly what I needed to hear when I needed to hear it.
My struggle with motherhood is something I’ve been pretty open about (relatively), and today finally I’m starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel, a purpose to the hard days and long nights.
Today, the author wrote- “I sometimes feel like I’m a substandard version of the person who should actually be living my life. I often worry there is someone who would be a better mother to my kids, wife to my husband,… And the truth is, I do fall short. But despite my imperfections and failings, I’m the right mother for my children and wife for the husband God has so graciously given me. ”
Of course, this single paragraph wasn’t anything new or earth-shattering, but it was simply a confirmation of something that I desperately needed to not only hear, but believe.
It was confirmation that I am exactly in the place that God intended me to be in. Confirmation that I have more to offer then diaper changes and bedtime routines. It was confirmation that I have worth.
Although I wouldn’t say that now I am a instant convert and love 100% everything about motherhood, I can say for sure that I love being Joy’s mother- and that alone makes motherhood worth it. And although my own worth isn’t wrapped up in the mundane moments of life, being confident in my ability to parent intentionally makes a world of difference in the attitude I approach parenting with.
It’s still not really fun. It’s still sometimes trying. Right now, I am loving a little bit of quietness while baby takes her afternoon nap and being able to hear myself think. It’s glorious!
But also, I can love the silence of breastfeeding, confident that I am giving her exactly what she needs.
I can love the late-night cries for comfort, confident knowing that my presences makes her calm.
I can love the spit up, the poop, the noise- confidently knowing that I am capable of of taking these messy moments and making them treasured memories.
So, if you’ve read this whole post and are a bit overwhelmed/need a final point (tbh that’s how I’m feeling)-
- You are worth more then poopy diapers and bedtime routines.
- Your worth is defined in Jesus, actually, and he calls you his bride.
- Because of this, YOU ARE CAPABLE to be the best mom out there for your own, beautiful baby.
- You got this, mama. Rock on.