I’ve never been a huge fan of Easter. At least, not before. Christmas has always been pretty much my favorite, with holidays like the Fourth of July and Thanksgiving right behind. Even as a Christian, I would chalk Easter up to be a celebration mostly for children, with the overall good intention of sharing the Gospel.


But this year, something is different. I can’t quite put my finger on it- maybe it’s because I had a very messy first attempt at Lent, maybe it’s something about being a mother. Whatever it is, I’ve entered this Easter season a lot more thoughtful, a lot more grateful for the amazing sacrifice of Christ.

I know he is risen from the grave, and that the tragedy of my Savior happened over a thousand years ago, but none the less this past week I have been anxious for Sunday. The heaviness of the Holy Week is too much for me. I don’t want to mourn, or to remember the hurt. I want to celebrate and be happy. I want to ignore the pain of the past and move forward to the future.

There’s nothing wrong with looking forward to better things or celebrating what’s good, of course. But I think maybe I’ve been missing out on Easter because I’ve been so hesitant to reflect not just on my own faults and my own misgivings, but on the injustice our Lord faced to save my life.

So really, this Easter season has been oddly refreshing for my soul. Who would have thought that reflecting on pain, on suffering, on my own black heart would actually lead to thankfulness? It was always head knowledge that God makes all things new, but this year, I have experienced it first-hand.

My own sin, my selfishness nailed him to a cross. I hate to actually say it, it’s so much easier to point blame on others- on the Pharisees, on the Romans, on the Jews of that day. But no, it was me. And he was tortured, and humiliated, and shamed- for me. This week, ages ago, he thought of me and my sin as he walked towards his death. And as horrible, as shameful as that is for me to reflect on and attempt to understand, it makes his resurrection all the more reassuring, and all the more beautiful.

So today, Easter Sunday. I rejoice in his unfailing love, I rejoice in his resurrection. I don’t rejoice because it’s happy and wonderful (though it certainly is), but I rejoice because our King took the ugliness in my heart upon himself and claimed me as his own. The celebration today isn’t about something that happened years ago, but it’s about what happens every season, every day- where he takes the ugliest parts of me and molds me into something new.

How have you been changed or challenged this season?


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  1. I watched “THE VICTOR” at my friend Shana’s Church. Many of our friends were in the play. It was 3 performances in 3 days. At 7pm I was there every single night. Sitting in the front row with Lilly. Yeah…You can see us in the front row..lol “Hi Guys! It”s me..lol” I had NO IDEA I was going to be on Camera….lol Many of the actors came up to me after the performances and said just me being there with Lilly was such an encouragement to them. I had to keep coming back. I was crying from the beginning to the end every night…every time i would hear the cross Jesus carry hit the floor I would cringe……and BOY It changed me…I will never be the same….
    find myself with more ZEAL -to Encourage and Lift others up more than ever!
    Hebrews 3:13
    But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.
    Hebrews 13:1
    Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters.
    A Call to Persevere
    Hebrews 10-
    …23Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; 24and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, 25not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.…

    No matter what Denomination Or Non Denomination you are, I ABSOLUTELY recommend SEEING this play. For it covers the very heart of the Gospel, and the good news EVERYONE who sincerely loves Jesus would appreciate! It will surely Inspire you to SHARE THE GOOD NEWS!!! You can even get a DVD and ask your Church to see it.
    A few days later….things got a bit rough……actually very rough….God knew I needed to see this play and hammered it into my head…to be continued..

  2. Excerpts From my FACE BOOK ENTRY*****

    had a rough start to the day, and was 5 minute late for P31 Fitness.
    As soon as I opened the door I saw Jennifer Liddell Apel surprised and smiling face to greet me! David was especially difficult to wake up this morning, he was even too tired to drive home, and slept in the car till I was done, poor thing.
    I was so thankful to join the group! I sprinted more than before and we had a great workout!
    The Previous night, Before I went to bed, I found out my precious Baby E in Haiti (I sponsor through Natalie Charlotin)had came down with a horrible fever!
    I printed out pictures of my little love in Haiti- and put them all over my Icebox. Now I see all the time. It’s a great reminder to pray for him too!
    Then, I got news this Morning that Rhyan Buettner’s Haitian baby love named Ketia had died. Today was Good Friday.
    I was feeling pretty rough and so was Natalie. =o( Then I thought about Rhyan’s statement. “Ketia gets to spend Easter in heaven. Can you imagine the celebration? Because of what Jesus did in raising from the grave we have assurance that we get eternity together, to celebrate and worship Him”
    I my heart was utterly crushed, yet i felt this with joy and unspeakable peace at the same time…SO CONFUSING!!!
    All the Haitian orphans are in God’s hands. AND…nothing can separate them from God’s love…NOTHING…..
    The Missionaries that serve these kids are like ANGELS….
    They have- GOLDEN MOTIVATION – to love and serve others.
    Hebrews 10:23-24
    23-Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. 24- And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works
    I am stirred up and moved to compassion from the depths of my Spirit and I stand ready to serve in whatever capacity Christ desires of me….
    I pray Christ’s love in my heart and actions will stir up others to do the same…

  3. We went to my son’s house & visited with them including dau in law & 2 of my grandchildren. I played with kids while I reflected back to when my children were so young. We left earlier than expected because i was tired. We had snow last night & I just had to watch it all night long. I had my heart filled of thoughts about my son’s friend who was buried Saturday the day before Easter. I felt for his family as he had a bad day & ended his own life. On a better day he wouldn’t have done that. I know God forgave him as that one bad day should not be what he was all about. He was good, it was a good Easter. I love all of the things our Saviour did for us. He gave his life for our eternal life & happiness. It is a day 5o remember the life & love he had for us. What a great sacrifice. Amen

    1. Your Easter sounds beautiful! Praying for your son’s friends family- so sad, so rough. Grateful for the grace of our Savior and that our ‘bad days’ don’t condemn us!

  4. I gave up fb for lent as giving up chocolate would not b difficult for me to give up. Other than that we don’t go out for easter eggs either, we just go to church when we can.