“So often I fear the unexpected, wishing to micro manage and control every little detail. But I’m finding out those unplanned, worst case scenarios can actually be wonderful. Tonight everything went wrong and nothing went as planned. At first I fought off tears as my vision collapsed before my eyes. But time wore on and […]
It seems funny to refer to you as ‘you’, because you never were. Months have passed since I found out the truth and knew the science, but still I think of you. The pregnancy test was positive. We were thrilled. It wasn’t like we were actively trying for a baby – but we also […]
This past week, I wrote out Joy’s birth story. It had been long overdue. I’ve let two years go by with the majority of my memory floating around in my mind, with a few notes scattered here and there on my phone and scrap pieces of paper. Caught up in my baby turning TWO and […]
I’ve been changing. I don’t know if the past few months of questioning and hardship have re-shaped my dreams, if I’m hitting a quarter life crisis, or what. But there’s no question that my priorities have shifted, that my wants have changed, that I’m going a different direction. I think. I say ‘I think’ because […]
So far, summer here is feeling a bit more rainy than I’m used to. In Charleston and Florida, summertime was full of 90-degree weather and drenching humidity. But in Asheville, it’s different.
“The days are long but the years are short.” It’s a cliche I’ve grown up hearing, and now that I’m a mother I actually relate to it. It didn’t even make sense to me until another mom mentioned how she’s just now getting what that means- and in that moment it clicked with me too.
For some of us, though, the New Year can be isolating. The better tomorrow seems impossible. A silent God, hopeless dreams and the reality of loneliness seem to step in the way of the excitement of the season because at this point, it really feels as though nothing can change. So we grin and bear it through the turn-of-the-year parties and resolutions, knowing things won’t change but deep down wishing they would.
Merry Christmas! Well, Christmas Eve, but still. Whoever you are, wherever you are, I’m wishing you the best Christmas of your life.
I could talk all day about this incredible city and the sights we saw and the people we met, and honestly I learned so many different lessons that would be too long to detail here. But what I realized, what I’ve learned and had to chew on for days, is that it really takes absolutely nothing to be happy.
I have spent days trying to think of a appropriate blog post to write. I wanted to celebrate her on this little corner of the internet, but I didn’t know how. Should I write a public letter? Should I share my birth story? I have no idea, because even though this is happening and time moves without my say I still feel as though this isn’t quite real and she’s still only a few months old.