Two years ago, I choose Confidence as my ‘word of the year’. In lieu of making a resolution or list of goals to meet in 2016, I decided instead to focus on one, specific quality to focus on. With a history of self-doubt, confidence seemed like a selfish ambition. Yet, I knew it was exactly the thing my anxious, insecure heart needed. With that in the forefront of my mind, I spent that year making confident decisions; not just ones out of fear or obligation as I previously tended to do. I stepped out of my comfort zone and did my imperfect best to embrace who I was, not just who I assumed people thought I was. Surprisingly, it worked for me. By the end of 2016, I truly felt more confident.
The next year was different. I picked a word, but I can’t remember it for the life of me. Maybe I was high on that confidence, or maybe I didn’t have the same motivation – but regardless, I didn’t go into 2017 with a resolution. In many ways 2017 ended up being one of the worst years I’ve experienced – emotionally, relationally, mentally. And although it would be silly to think the two are connected (resolutions and words can’t fix circumstances and broken things), I want to reclaim this upcoming year. I want to speak positivity and life over 2018, especially since the prior year was so dead and lonely and two steps back. I want to speak joy and hope over it so that no matter what situations I experience, my outlook can stay healthy and my heart encouraged.
So, after a little thought and prayer, Abundance is my word for 2018. Does that sound weird? It does seem like a strange ‘resolution’, since abundance is something we have only relative control over. But yet, I choose to claim this word, this word that I can’t force to completion or practice to perfection. Rather, I’m choosing it for perspective. For 2018, I’m choosing to see abundance in my everyday, whether it feels that way or not.
Abundance in my relationships
Abundance in so many dreams
Abundance of a full, lived-well life
I’m starting my 2018 off by believing in these things. Abundance, for those unfamiliar, means ‘a large quantity of something’ – like an item, a thing that’s filled to the brim to the point of overflowing. So I hope for it, hope for an abundance of love and dreams and happy moments. I hope for it so our family can thrive, so I can thrive – and in return pour out unconditionally to others. Because life isn’t meant to be isolated or hidden, it’s not designed to be done alone. But I can’t give hope if I have none, I can’t pour into others if my own well is empty, I can’t share joy if I don’t hold any of my own.
So, abundance. I’m choosing to see it, to experience, to seek it out. To be the best friend I can be, even if my relationships feel broken and few. To dream large and dream often, even when those dreams fall apart. To live with vibrancy, in every moment, with the fullness of hope even when the days seem dark and bleak.
That’s my resolution this year, what I’m hoping to grow in and change. That I may expect good things, give in my overflow, and live in abundance.
What are you hoping for in this new year?